


Pre and Postlude to Slander

by DeathjunkE



Series: Of A Noble House [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-21
Updated: 2012-05-21
Packaged: 2017-11-05 19:15:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/410061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathjunkE/pseuds/DeathjunkE
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The guilt and shame oppressed you and made you uncomfortably aware of the space all of the other person’s love had taken up in your life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pre and Postlude to Slander

**Author's Note:**

  * For [werewolfsfan](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=werewolfsfan).



> I'm sorry this took so long. i had to try writing it a few times and then one fic got overly long and all that extra real life crap. I hope you like it. and the illustration will come as soon as i can get it done an to you ^-^.
> 
> And thank you gabby for proofing on such short notice, *loves on the gabster*

_I’ve waited for you here  
On the damp edges of the break of day  
And saw how you arrived holding sway over everything  
And I felt the fever of your hands on my flesh and knew _

  
  
  
It was never easy to break someone’s heart, or rather it was too easy.  
It was easy for a heart to be broken all it took was a careless suggestion, the wrong word or a single action that could spin way out of hand. But being the person who broke it was harrowing. The guilt and shame oppressed you and made you uncomfortably aware of the space all of the other person’s love had taken up in your life.  
  
Lily cradled her head in her palms and heaved a great sigh. She was an idiot and things were a mess. It seemed like a good idea at the time. If she would have know that it would be like this…  
  
No, it was best to be honest. She probably would have done it anyway, he was the only one she trusted.  
  
Everyone said it wasn’t uncommon for boys to want to do things like that, but she should have known Severus wasn’t like anyone else. They had been friends for so long. They had become so close over the years that Severus no longer flinched when she put her hand on his arm, he even stood still and didn’t squirm or try to push her away when she wanted to hug him. And he was always he was so damn chivalrous about everything all the time.  
  
It was that chivalry that had been their great undoing—he had always been gentleman so she never got even the slightest of hints that he fancied her, let alone loved her. There were never any suggestive comments, he never initiated touches and rarely had anything to say when she commented on the looks of one guy or another.  
  
What she had asked was tactless and cruel under the circumstances.  
  
 _”Severus,” She called to him from under the tree he always climbed to read in peace. “Can I talk to you?”  
  
“I think so. You’re doing it now aren’t you?” He mocked her even as he set aside his book and maneuvered himself into a better position to hoist her up into the tree. Though his words were taunting his voice was low and not at all tinged with the hatred he had for others.  
  
When she was seated besides him on the branch she took a deep breath and tried to look him in the eye. With Severus it was best to be forward, he could smell ulterior motives from a mile away and spot subterfuge at forty paces. “Severus the girls have been talking again.”  
  
“Okay?”  
  
“About sex.” Lily managed to blurt out praying that her face didn’t catch fire. She looked at him from the corner of her eye and nibbled at her lip. Severus looked startled, his eyes were opened so wide that you could see the whites of them and his naturally pale face was pink. “I never really take much of what they say at face value but yesterday… Alice, she came in practically floating with hickeys **everywhere**.”  
  
“You hunted me down for gossip?”  
  
“No, Sev. Keep up!” she made a vague gesture with her fingers and continued, “She said it was the best thing she ever did, she said that Deloris was lying that it didn’t hurt and it was the best thing she ever felt and… I want to do it too.”  
  
“You want to shag Longbottom? Really, I would have never thought he was the kin--”  
  
“No, no. I want you to have sex with me.”  
  
“Wait! what?” he squawked and turned to face her, nearly falling out of the tree.  
  
“You know,” she put her palms on his thigh and leaned forward so that they were eye to eye. “We’ll do it together… I’ve read that if we do some rights beforehand that the loss of virginity would expand our magic-- if we do it the right anyway. You’re the only one I trust enough…”  
  
“If you want to do the rituals let me know,” Severus had smiled at her after that and shook his head. “You sure about this?”  
  
“Yeah I’m sure.”  
  
For two days they ate nothing but cherries and in preparation for the rights that they would perform on the night of the new moon when they burned sickly sweet incents, drank mulled elf-wine mixed with honey and powdered unicorn horn.  
  
Severus was thoughtful enough to bring a blanket padded with enough cushioning charms to feel like a mattress for them to spread out in the clearing of the forbidden forest. In fact the whole way through he had been thoughtful, a little clumsily in his naivety but careful and considerate nonetheless. His full attentions were on every part of her body. He worshiped her thighs with kisses and light touches and some realized that her arms were sensitive.  
  
She could barely keep hold of him as he moved about her body in a worshipful frenzy. Her nails raked his shoulders and she hand his long hair trapped in her quivering fists. He trailed kisses nips and licks down from her collarbone to her core. He licked the lips of her cunt and used his fingers to stretch and probe her as he licked making her wild with a blinding pleasure.  
  
“You’ve done this before?” Lily panted still clutching Severus’ hair in her fist.  
  
“No.” Severus hid his face against her thigh but Lily knew that he was blushing. “I read and listen to the seventh years…”  
  
Lily finally let go of the hair and grabbed Severus’ arm insistently pulling him up to lay besides her. Once he was besides her Lily pressed against his body fighting off the autumn chill. “The seventh years told you what to do?”  
  
“No, they talk in the showers after quidditch practice.” He didn’t mention that he had been fantasizing about this day ever since he knew what sex was or the fact that he had made sure to study female anatomy and pornography in preparation.  
  
“I’m glad that was great.” Lily grinned before she turned and threw her leg over Severus and pushed herself up so that she was astride his hips. She knelt up her legs splayed and reached down to the flesh that was stiff and pointing upward in anticipation. “Let me try now.”  
  
She positioned her self carefully and in one quick move sat so that she was skin to skin with Severus. Her breath hitched, her eyes watered and her jaw hung open in a silent scream.  
  
Severus grit his teeth, it was so good it was hot and tight and the pressure was maddening but he had to focus and not move because Lily was obviously in pain. “It hurts? Does it hurt?”  
  
Lilly nodded stiffly and Severus wracked his brains for what to do. When he couldn’t think of anything he reached out with shaking hands and pet her hair and shoulders in an attempt to make her relax. She stood perfectly still afraid of the pain and afraid to move and . His ands trailed aross her hips and thighs but it didn’t help.  
  
“Lily? Do you want to stop…” Severus whispered sincerely. He hated himself for the offer but at this point he’d feel worse If he hurt her. When she didn’t answer he shifted his hips in a half hearted attempt to wriggle out from underneath Lily’s inviting body.  
  
“Stay still… give me a minute the pain it’s a lot.”  
  
Severus nodded in some secret understanding and reached forward grabbing one of her breast in his palm before squeezing it hard enough to be painful. “New pain will help.” His other hand was on her thigh and he dug in his fingernails just as she started to hoist herself back up. It was an awkward and slow process—she pushed off of him and fucked herself and Severus while he fought with himself to keep still enough to let Lily set the pace and have control. Somehow his hands found their way to Lily’s waist and stayed there turning the pretty tan skin under his fingers a pale purple.  
  
When every thing was said and done Lily lay on Severus’ body unmoving and unconcerned about the sticky sweat mess they were. Severus was still in her and there was a little blood on her thighs but it was all right. Severus used his free arm pull the empty half of the blanket over them and kept his arm wrapped around Lily’s waist. Neither slept, but they stayed quiet and relaxed until the navy sky gave way to the pink of the early morning.  
  
As they strolled back to the castle disheveled and probably with leaves in their hair Lily slipped her hand into the crook of Severus’ arm. “Thank you, Sev.” He gave a tired grunt of acknowledgement and Lily continued. “You were the only person I think who wouldn’t have taken advantage of this. If I asked any other guys for a no strings attached shag the whole school would think I was a slag before breakfast.  
  
You know how the gossip mill goes around here and its such a double standard too! A guy can shag who ever he wants and no one sees that as anything other than a healthy male attitude. But us girls, when we want to test the waters and see what she likes she’s instantly a skank! Its really a—“  
  
Severus pulled away from her with a curt good night and stormed off into the dark corridors leaving Lily bewildered and alone in the grand foyer.  
  
Lily didn’t know what she said wrong until Janet McMillan, her other best friend, had pointed out the problem after managing to squeeze the whole story out of her.  
  
“Oh, you’re just so too smart! People like you with more practical intelligence than they can handle have no social wit what so ever!” She said with her usual dramatic gestures. “That boy’s been in love with you before you even hit the express for first year! Its clear as day!”  
_  
  
Lily hadn’t realized that Severus loved her. After that she tried to make amends to offer Severus an apology but it seemed like she had hurt him too deeply. He refused to be near her and instead chose the company of other Slytherins. Lucius Malfoy who had for quite some time trying to turn Severus away from her was now always at his side whispering in his ears.  
  
  


_  
That you were here and the way you quivered slowly toward me  
Approaching irresistibly like a prophecy  
Like a chunk of wood ablaze on the sea  
Like a flight of birds heralding land _

  
  
  
  
  
It had been a few months since they started talking and now Severus was just as cold to her as he was to every one else. He wanted nothing from her, not a kind word, a greeting or even help.  
  
Just earlier he had called her a Mudblood when she was trying to help her. It hurt and wasn’t deserved. She had tried to apologize, to make him understand that she didn’t know that he had loved her. To make him understand that she missed her best friend, the boy who was so reserved, witty and kind, the friend who taught her the beauty of magic and made sure that no matter how broke they were come Hogsmeade weekends She would have a liquorish wand.  
  
Lily was nothing more than Mudblood to him now. It hurt.  
  
She didn’t even realize she was crying until she felt thick square fingers wiping the dampness away from her cheeks.  
  
“Hey Evans.” Some one called softly.  
  
Lily’s wide green eyes brought the face in front of her into focus. She was only half surprised to see James Potter’s face, he had a knack for being there when she wanted to be alone. His hazel eyes were looking at her with an unforeseen softness.  
  
“You alright?”  
  
“I’m fine…” She murmured shakily, “I just wish you’d leave him alone.”  
  
“You’re still defending him, even after what he called you?” James’ hazel eyes flicked oddly, like he was trying to understand her. He gave up his scrutiny to flop down besides her on the steps. “I don’t understand it? he’s always been an ass, and no matter what you defend him.”  
  
Lily shrugged and used her sleeve to scrub her face. “Severus and I have known each other since we were little. He was never sunshine and flowers.”  
  
“I didn’t expect him to be. But most people at least try to be pleasant.”  
  
Lily huffed and leaned against the cold stone steps. How do you explain Severus to anyone, let alone James Potter. “He’s kind in his own way. He’s loyal to a fault and he’s easily hurt.”  
  
“We can’t be talking about the same person. Snape’s positively feral!”  
  
“Potter--”  
  
“James.” He corrected swiftly. “My name is James.”  
  
“James then.” Lily heaved a tired sigh and for the first time really looked at James Potter. He wasn’t very tall but he was handsome and his face was a bit rounded but honest enough. “What is it that you want from me?”  
  
“In the long run a date. In more immediate terms I want to know what it is about this guy that makes you still defend him even after he makes you cry.” James scrubbed a hand through his hair nervously and licked his lips. Sitting here having a serious discussion with Lily was a lot different than trying to tell her jokes or ask her out to Hogsmeade. It was harder, scarier. “I’ve only tried to make you laugh and you wont give me the time of day. Snape says what ever he pleases to you and you’d still gladly…” he waved a hand as if brushing away the end of his sentence.  
  
“It’s just that when you know someone really well you learn things about them that …I know he’s easy to hurt… and I was careless and I hurt him worse than anyone else did. He’s still my friend, even if he doesn’t want to be… and it bothers me that people think ill of him because really he’s not so bad once you get by all the defensive crap.”  
  
“It’s a pity, really.” James stood and held out his hand to help the girl to her feet. “If you’re always worried about stepping on each other’s toes how do you know all you can about them? You should be honest with the ones you care about if you aren’t they know nothing but your lies.”  
  
Lily took the offered hand and nodded gratefully, she could see the sense in that. The pair of Gryffindors made their way to the fifth floor in silence.  
  
As they approached the corridor that led to the portrait hole Lily broke the semi awkward silence, “Um, Po- James?”  
  
“Yeah, Evans.”  
  
“Do you want to come to Hogsmeade with me next week end?” James looked at her with blatant shock across his face and his jaw slightly open. Lily ducked her head and kept her eyes on the ground. “You don’t have to, it was just a question.”  
  
“I’ll go! I’m just …I’ve asked you for three years straight and you always say no! Why now?  
  
“You’re not too bad when you’re not being a clown… And i figure the best way to pay back such excellent advice is with a butter beer or two.”  
  
“Um, yeah…I’d like that.”

 


End file.
